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Stronger. Harder. Deeper. ClosetGate!

I normally do a little intro paragraph explaining my thoughts or feelings on the scene before I just jump right in but I’m not going to do that this time because I already made a separate post about thoughts on this scene(x).

This scene starts off with Olivia walking into the church for baby Ella’s christening. Fitz ass must have picked up on her smell or something because dude looked up & their eyes met. Olivia’s pace slowed a little but she kept walking & Fitz watched her the entire time.

The beat to I don’t know why I love you started playing & my ass was like 


So priest starts talking & we get this shot of Olivia & Fitz holding baby Ella…you know they doing godparent shit.


Olivia low key ain’t shit because she wants to be playing with Fitz’s hands under poor Ella’s head. And then she got the nerve to look all innocent.


She giving him looks & then eye sex begins…


Fitz about to drop Ella. Seriously, look at Fitz. It is looking a little shaky on his side.

Meanwhile baby Ella probably up there thinking


drop me. Drop me & see what’s gone happen. It’s gone be both y’all asses. Both of y’all gone feel this shit if you drop me


So the priest finishes up & they all say amen. We then get to everyone standing in a room & James is giving this speech. 

I watching & thinking, “James, I love you but…”


I really don’t care what James is going on about because this is ALL about the closet sex. That is the most important thing in this scene.

James goes on with his speech. He ain’t really talking about shit but some Japanese pennies(I know that’s not what he really said but it’s not that important).

While James is making his toast, Olivia & Fitz trying to avoid eye contact. Olivia looking at the tops of people’s shoes & shit. Fitz over there focused on something up & to the left.


These two trying not to look at each other makes me laugh all the time because these fools be mad extra & obvious. I know they love each other they can’t help their physical attraction but them trying to avoid looking at each other is making shit extra awkward & a little obvious—even though no one in the room noticed.

James finishes his toast & everyone raises their glasses. Did y’all see Fitz quarter ass try(he didn’t even half try) to raise his glass? This dude didn’t even attempt to give a half ass fuck about that toast. He only raised his glass so he could bring that shit to his lips.


I mean come on dude, at least try to care for little Ella’s sake.

Olivia uses the moment after the toast, when everyone is gathering around baby Ella to make her escape. Fitz is still trying to act like he isn’t looking at her but he somehow manages to see her leave.  Fitz thinks for a second & then downs the rest of his drink before following after her. I knew then that the fun shit was about to start.

The next thing we see is Olivia coming through this doorway. She walks through the doorway & a few seconds later, Fitz comes in right behind her. The way he came around that damn corner, I thought we was in a horror movie or some shit. I’m watch & thinking, Olivia…


Look at this motherfuckers determined ass walk though


When I tell you this man was walking on a mission. Girl as soon as he rounded that damn corner, it was OVER. It was a done deal. Olivia was not leaving the area unfucked. She was going to get that dick. There was no way around it.

Olivia hears his ass on her heels so she tries(& fails) to pick up her speed. She starts walking faster & Fitz doesn’t miss a beat—his ass starts walking faster too.

As she is trying to get a way, we get a glimpse of a maid up ahead & Olivia’s ass had a small glimmer of hope.

But let me tell you why that maid ain’t shit. She know damn well she heard them speed walking behind her but her ass didn’t look back once. 9 times out of 10, if you hear some commotion behind you, you gone turn around but not this bitch. She didn’t give nary fuck.

So once the maid was out of sight, there was no more hope for Olivia. Fitz caught up with that ass & then this happened.


I watched that damn snatch & was like


Yo, Fitz/TG stay beasting! We see you Fitz/TG, there is no need to show off now.

Can we just talk about the fact that clearly this is not Fitz/TG’s first snatch? I mean you do not snatch with such precision on your first snatch. This dude grabbed her arm & had her in that closet with the door shut in 5 seconds. There has DEFINITELY been some snatching bitches up in his past.

If this president shit don’t work out for Fitz, he got a career in professional kidnapping because his snatch game is proper. 

After watching this damn scene, I now call Fitz/TG King Snatch & no I am not ashamed, nor am I sorry about that. But seriously, Fitz snatching Olivia up into that closet was some of the sexiest shit ever! I was thoroughly turned on but you know when it comes to Tony, it don’t take much to get me turned on.

When I first watched this scene, this was me as the closet door shut


So the closet door closes & on the inside, we get to see Fitz pounce on Olivia & start to kiss her. 

My reaction


They kiss for a few seconds before Olivia pushes him off of her & slaps him. Fitz steps back a little stunned. I find this a little funny because he really thought that after all this time—without so much as a hello—that he was just going to kiss her & everything was going to be ok.

Olivia was not having that shit. I felt like her slap was her way of saying


You not gone just run up & kiss me after no communication for 10 months. Can I get a hi first?

So Fitz stands back & Olivia is breathing all heavy. This was a real struggle moment for Olivia. I know it was because on one hand, she remember what Fitz bitch ass said to her at Verna’s funeral & then on the other, she know what that damn D is like. Yeah ol girl got a case of the Nelly & Kelly—she got a dilemma. 

Olivia has the BIGGEST fuck it moment ever & decides that she is going to get the D. Olivia does this


And it was ON from here.

(Now from here on out in this review, I will be talking to or about Anthony & Kerry. Shit got too real in this dam closet for me to be using their character names & Tony is a nickname, I’m calling him what his mama named him)

After Kerry kissed Anthony, all hell broke loose. We got heavy breathing. Anthony fighting to get Kerry’s jacket off. Then this motherfucka starts feasting on Kerry’s arm. He fighting to get to her damn neck to suck for Jesus.


Kerry, what the fuck is you doing to Anthony’s ear?

The face/neck grab was introduced. And then Anthony turned Kerry’s ass around.

That damn turn around had me like


Let me just say that I love that Anthony is a hit it from the back man. This dude like bending people over tables & spinning folks around in electrical closets. Hit that shit from the back Anthony & take not fucking prisoners. Put your name in that pussy.

Look at his fucking face when he turned her ass around. Dude was in full on beast mode. Get that shit Anthony! Get it!


Ok, now on a more serious note. I need to speak to Kerry Marisa Washington for a bit.

What the actual fuck?





Again, I ask…


See I not even about to play these games with Kerry. This girl NOT only undid his belt from behind her back without looking BUT she ALSO reached for the damn button on his pants in like 5 seconds flat. I’m not even trying to be messy when I say this & you can take it however you want but that is some DICK FAMILIARITY right there. There is no way. No fucking way that you undo a belt buckle AND reach for the dick in 5 seconds unless you know that dick. You can tell me the sky is green & dinosaurs walk the earth if you want to but KERRY IS FAMILIAR WITH ANTHONY’S DICK AREA! There is no denying that. Now the how/why is she familiar with his dick area is all up to your belief but we can all agree that the damn belt magic trick is very telling.


Kerry, girl…


Seriously, I need lessons. Kerry, you said be teachable, well I’m ready to learn girl. When the lessons start?

Anthony Howard is your turn sir…


Anthony, we really need to talk. I spoke with Kerry, now it is time for me & you to have some words. Sir, I have prepared a bullet list of shit that we need to discuss in this scene.

  • You pulling down the panties.
  • You choking Kerry.
  • You biting Kerry’s lip.
  • You grabbing the damn thigh.
  • You resting in the boob hold..AGAIN!


I don’t even know where to begin. I guess the pulling down of her panties is a perfect place to start.

Yo, when Anthony took off those panties, my ass was like


The force & straight up determination to get them damn panties off. Them panties were rolled down off of Kerry’s ass. He went down with them shits. Girl, Anthony was struggling at the knee a little bit but he got it.

So after Anthony got them damn panties down, this happened


Hello Tony Goldwyn back arch!

YAASSS Anthony! Put that dick in. Get it in there good. Put all of it in there. All of that long dick.

Whew, let me cool myself down.


After Anthony put the peen in Kerry’s hot box, this  happened. 


Look at this shit. Girl, Anthony got one hand resting in that boob hold & the other just laying on top of Kerry’s so that he could get the better pushing leverage. He ready to thrust in that shit something strong.

Look at Tony’s face though.

Seriously, my weakness is in my damn ears. I don’t even allow people to whisper in my ear because if you do, some shit gone pop off. Girl, Anthony all breathing on the side of Kerry’s face. Just imagine that for a second, he holding on to the boob & squeezing, he got his hand on top of yours, & he breathing his warm, heavy, slow breaths on you.


(takes a moment to get myself together…)

Then Kerry ass turns around & kisses him. I call this damn kiss the Hannibal Lecter kiss because two bitches trying to fucking eat each other. Look at this shit. I got beef with both of them after this damn kiss.


Let’s talk about this damn kiss for a second.

Kerry Marisa, girl I got to speak with you first. Because you started this shit.


Girl, where the fuck is your tongue going? This shit is hella creepy to me because your tongue is damn there near his nostrils. Kerry, you know what is up noses…ew. Just stop. Stop it right now.

Anthony Howard, my dude…what are you doing? Are you biting Kerry?


Now I actually don’t like this kiss just because I always imagine Kerry’s tongue coming in contact with Anthony’s nose & it creeps me out because since I was a child, I have had a weak stomach. Tony did save this kiss a little bit for me when he bit Kerry.




Who does that? These are they games we want to play? We biting people & shit. We start out with LOTS & LOTS of tongue so the next level has to be to add teeth. Girl, I’m not about to play with these two.


So after the Hannibal Lecter kiss this happens


YAASSS Anthony, grab that chocolate thigh & leave your fucking mark. Do you see his hand placement in this gif? And I’m not just talking about on his hand on her thigh.

YAAASSSS!!!! Look at Kerry pushing to have that D a little bit more stronger, harder, & deeper! BEAT THAT DAMN WALL!!!!!!!


YAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS Kerry! Somebody just hand her all the damn awards because look at her damn face. 

Hold the fuck up…is Anthony biting her face in this gif?


I’m not even about to go there. I have no fucking comment because I just saw this & maybe I’m seeing things. Who the fuck knows?


 Girl both of their faces!!!!

Anthony, did you just choke Kerry?


 Look at this shit…


…………..We need to really have a serious ass talk! Seriously. This shit is not normal. Not normal at all.

Anthony, what in the blue, pink fuck EVER possessed you to wrap your hand around a bitch throat? Have you seen your fucking hands? Them shits is bigger than someone’s head. Dude hands look like that flying claw thing from the Alien vs. Predator movie & he want to be placing them shits around someone’s throat.

I’m not even trying to be messy but this is another example of that familiarity shit that I was talking about. There is no way in hell you just put your hands around a motherfucka neck like


I’m just going to choke you. Unless you know that they going be cool with that shit.

Look at Kerry. She just on her McDonald’s—she loving it & shit. Let that had been me & I wasn’t used to be choked by Tony & his damn grim reaper hands.  My ass would have been like, “Motherfucka, did you choke me?…But I didn’t do nothing to you…


My life would have flashed before my eyes & shit but not Kerry. Ol’ girl use to that rough, I’m gone wrap my hands around your neck & fucking squeeze type of shit.

I digress though because I’m not playing with Kerry & Anthony. I’m going back to Olivia & Fitz because I don’t got patience for what Kerry & Anthony are trying to put me though.

Let me just say that best off of this gif & the expression on Olivia’s face, Fitz hitting EVERY SINGLE SPOT!!!!!


Olivia fighting the urge to scream out & let the neighbors know Fiz’s name. Fuck that wall up girl!




Fitz, I got fucking next!!!!!!!!!!!


I swear even though this is my favorite Olitz sex scene, after watching it I am always


I’m watching all of this crazy ass sex & I’m not getting none. I be bitter as fuck after this scene. Damn I want some of Tony’s dick.

I’m sorry. That might have been a little too much but


Ok, now it is time for the unpleasant part of the scene that everyone hates(except for me).

Let me just say that I don’t have a problem with Fitz erection line. I found the shit to be hilarious for many reasons:

  1. Fitz admitting that his dick get hard every time Olivia breathes in the same room that he is in & he can’t control that shit.
  2. Fitz saying all of this while he about to cry & shit. He more hurt than she is, just check out his face.
  3. Fitz lying through his damn teeth. He gone say, “We’re done." but then his ass contacted her first after only one episode. Ain’t no time past before he was calling her.
  4. Fitz had to go home & fuck Mellie in that damn shower the next day. Poor Fitz was trying to drown himself & ended up crying all up in Mellie Sahara desert  coochie.


I’ll continue though as if I am outraged by his comment.

After Fitz & Olivia FUCKED in the closet, we get to the part of the with them leaving. I don’t know why but I always found it funny that Fitz opened the door & let Olivia leave first. Like he was back to acting like he was mad at her but he was still a gentleman about his shit. Also, I love that Olivia put her panties in her purse. That is so fucking Scandalous & I love it!

So as they are leaving, Olivia is in front of Fitz & she stops & says, “I made a mistake." Fitz then responds, We both did. It won’t happen again.

Damn, way to bust Olivia’s bubble Fitz.


Olivia is a little choked up by his comment & she replies, …I was talking about Defiance.

Fitz walks over to where Olivia is standing & he looks in her eyes & with tears in his damn throat, he says, That wasn’t a mistake. That was betrayal. We’re done. I may not be able to control my erections around you but that does not mean that I want you. We…are done.

My response to Fitz erection comment.


Olivia was hurt by what he said, it was written all over her face. I felt bad for Olivia & a little mad that she should him her feelings.

Olivia should have hit him with a


I’ll see you next week because you’ll call. YOU ALWAYS CALL!

But since she is human & in love, his words hurt. Since Fitz hurt Olivia, I have to hurt him.





(Was that enough outrage? I hope so because I’m done)

Next on the review table: Wait for me Olivia.






Always a roller coaster with ShondaLand Thursdays! 

I am personally over her stupidity. Going to watch this version of the series to conclusion. I probably won’t be back for S4 unless there are fundamental changes.

I agree. There are so very many issues with so many things on the show that I have little hope. If it was one character or one plot point that would be one thing but this train wreck is all over the map. There is more to dislike than like at this point. If things change I will be back for S4 but otherwise this is where I get off this wretched roller coaster.


But SERIOUSLY, what happened to this show?! It’s unrecognisable. A COMPLETE 180 of what it was. I see these Olivia, Fitz, Huck etc. shaped shells and have NO IDEA who they are. If you read the “About” Scandal section on the ABC website, I don’t believe it says “Wannabe D-grade spy show, that spectacularly fails in coherency, intelligence or nuance. And while we initially celebrated the first WOC Television Lead in 40 years; we found it more appropriate to denigrate the character and insult the leading talent in order to prop up two wholly unnecessary tertiary background-fillers and to showcase their mediocre and lack of talent respectively. Politics? What politics? Furthermore it’s not a soap, because we say it’s not a soap.”

Absolutely. And I think that is what makes it all the more troubling for those of us who watch with a critical eye and who have watched since day one. If it started out as a crappy wannabe Keystone Kops I would never have gotten involved regardless of my like for Tony & Kerry. It is the STARK difference between what we were presented with in the beginning and what we are force fed now. I don’t believe that Tony & Kerry would have agreed to do the show that we are seeing on television right now. I don’t think there would have been a season 2 let alone a season 3 if this shit had been taking place in the first 7 episodes. Shonda has run roughshod over everything and everyone in this show. She doesn’t care so long as she can further her agenda to denigrate not only her lead character but the wonderful actress who plays that character. Her jealousy and childishness about Tony and Kerry are alarming to say the least. What’s worse is that she doesn’t realize that she is so VERY much out of her league when it comes to Kerry and Tony. Outclassed….outgunned….Hollywood royalty. The woman needs to have a seat and let Tom try to fix the shit she created.

(Source: calzona-ga)

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